Yesterday I was showered with love and appreciation. It was perfect, and lovely, and sweet, and beautiful.
And I didn't know how to receive it.
In the moment, it was wonderful. But very quickly it all felt unreal...unwarranted.
I knew that soon they would all figure it out: I've done nothing special. I am nothing special. I'm just me. Just one person with so little to offer. My "importance" is only an illusion which will fade very quickly once I've gone.
There are a few for whom I've made a real difference...or maybe more honestly, have made a difference to me. But in my day to day...my Monday through Friday...I am really very little.
Which is why all the attention feels so wrong and makes me so uncomfortable.
For you see, under that kind of spotlight...that kind of focus...they are all sure to see the truth.