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Sunday, March 11, 2012

As promised...

Yesterday, I had a moment--just a moment--of pure transcendence. 

(Yes, I was in the middle of an incredible pedicure, complete with fully reclined chair, heated shoulder pads, and a lavender scented eye pillow...but that's beside the point.) I laid there...eyes closed, spa music wafting above, the scent of essential oils filling the air...I had the most amazing feeling.  I had the sense that my body was filling up--fully inflating within my own skin.  It was a feeling of actual growth, like leaves sprouting on branches.  

The next realization I had was that I was, in that moment, extraordinarily proud.  Proud of myself!  Proud of my growth, my change, my courage...of me.  

And then came the waves of pure and unadulterated happiness and contentment.  

In that moment, my life was whole and complete...I was whole and complete.  And I was fully present in my awareness.  I knew that the feeling would pass...not in a way that meant it was no longer there, just in a way in which it would not be so concise or so certain.  But I was not bothered by this, because I knew that having it in that moment was enough.  It was enough to know that I had felt it, and to also know that I would feel it again.  

And then it was gone, leaving behind relaxation...again filled with lovely spa music and lavender.  

Today there were none of these moments.  It was a fine day, filled with weekend chores and family time, but no transcendence.  

And I'm okay with that, because I know that there are more of these moments to come.  

And in the meantime, life is pretty great just as it is. 

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